imperfectsoldier: (pic#17482446)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-28 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve meets Zerxus' eyes and what he sees? Is someone who has withstood literal hell. Not perfectly, not without (a lot of) personal cost, but a good man who is still trying to do the right thing.

"All right." Does he believe that's truly possible? He... isn't sure. Probably not, but not definitely not. Meanwhile: "I need you to listen to me and give it at least a ten count before you knee jerk react and tell me why I'm wrong. Can you give me that?"
imperfectsoldier: (pic#17460816)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-28 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
He actually takes a second, because what he wants to say is something he needs to present a little less directly and thoroughly than is his natural inclination.

"Leverage that can be used against me is less dangerous than not caring at about anything. I need you to stop trying to... maintain distance and convince me you're terrible." Push Steve away, whatever this is.

"It's hell. Nothing left to lose isn't gonna work if the goal is protecting my soul."
Edited 2024-10-28 23:44 (UTC)
imperfectsoldier: (pic#17482446)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah." Just that, soft and rough and his eyes sliding slowly closed and staying that way. "Kind of an ongoing theme in my life. Leave everyone and everything. Don't trust anyone. Get up and back in the fight."

Fuck he is.... He can and will do this, harder and bigger and broader every time or not, he will, but damn he doesn't even want to get off the floor in this second, much less be thinking about the three options he sees for himself to go forward with here.

Or how the most right - or least wrong- one always seems to be the hardest one.

Then he gets his eyes open, rallies almost visibly and quirks a faint smile. "Not actively pushed away is good enough. I'm not gonna sacrifice my world or soul for you, no matter how attached I get and if I were dumb enough to 'trust' you the way you mean I'd be asking a lot more questions. I've got it." It. This. "You coming over here, now?" He gestures to, well, the spot on the floor beside him with his head, but also holds a hand out, palm up to Zerxus.

His turn to establish contact.



Edited 2024-10-29 11:51 (UTC)
imperfectsoldier: (104)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve isn't sure Zerxus realizes how much... information about himself he's given Steve. How complete the picture he's painted has been. In what he's said, yeah, but also in Steve sees in between the words and in responses.

He can see the man inside the devil, and he has a pretty damn good idea of the broader strokes of his history. What he did. People he loved. Why he did it. What his life is now. The points they overlap and how strong that overlap is.

He is prepared for the argument that pulling away isn't the same as pushing away and in truth? Steve would have allowed it - at least for a while - and taken the technical win as a point to push with later. That the man has enough... bravery and of himself present to take Steve's hand adds a bit of... pride? to the smile.

He curls his fingers down so his grip is solidly there and pulls Zerxus forward and pretty much around, without letting go. And in fact making sure there's at least some contact between shoulders or knees.

Basically a physical guide in 'sit beside me' (on the floor) and isn't letting go. The heat of that hand should be oppressive for Steve, but it's not. The physical contact itself is more than worth it.

"I'm gonna need food, water, and a better idea about what day to day life here's going to be." That's not a demand for information right now, though he'll take it. "Right now... When are you back on patrol?"


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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Good boy, Steve thinks, but is just smart enough to not stay when he feels the faint lean against him. He keeps his head tipped back, hand around Zerxus', breathing deep enough that every breath increases contact minutely, and slow enough to suggest complete calm. It also lets more heat sink into his skin, especially with lighter fabric.

"I was hoping the opulence would extend that far. You don't wanna know what my appetite looks like when it's compensating for any kind of healing or sleep deprivation." Both are already in play and he doesn't expect either one to go away.

Appetite's probably the wrong word given his very human response to the constant smell of blood. Close enough to 'need to eat', though and he's not going to start whining about anything, much less that minor.

"I'm not gonna go anywhere or start having conversations. My soul and I will both be here when you get back." That? Is a promise. It's pretty short term for now, but it's a promise.

Steve... doesn't break those.
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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve eats. He eats an astonishing amount of food (at least for a human), without a single sign that maybe his sense of smell and taste are getting cross-wired, much less indication that he'd so much as heard 'poisoned or cursed' being mentioned as possibilities.

Then he takes the time Zerxus is gone to get his suit stuck in the back of Zerxus wardrobe (just the suit; gloves and shield stay out). He browses through the wardrobe since he's apparently going to be dressing himself out of it for the foreseeable future.

He does not otherwise get nosy, but instead just settles into one of those armchairs in the room with Zerxus' armor stand. He spends the rest of the time Zerxus is gone 'asleep', in the exact way he slept in the middle of a world war two battle field. Cycling between barely dozing to brief periods of deeper sleep that he rises back out of to the light doze, over and over again.

He doesn't startle when Zerxus is back in the room with him. His eyes open, immediately clear and alert. Stretches as he stands and walks straight to Zerxus. "Gauntlets off." His voice however reflects that he was at least asleep, in being a little husky and more slowed down than it has been thus far.
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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve has a lot thank world war two for - including being largely unaffected by the sight of blood, and pretty close to the same to the scent of it. It bothers him on a visceral level, but it also helps keep him from relaxing too much while remaining something he can dismiss from conscious thought.

Even when it's still wet and in that kind of quantity. As long as it's not blood that's on fire, or he's not expected to eat at the same time.

"I sleep like a guy who learned to self-hypnotize myself into sleeping in a war zone." The Hawk remark though makes him look overtly curious. It's a sensible comparison but... pretty enough to make him think there's more to it than just the animal. "And either get the gauntlets or I do them myself. I don't know how they work. I will cut myself and bleed, then you'll feel bad."
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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, someone came home from their required murder march in a mood.

Steve doesn't really blame him - or for coming home a lot less human seeming than he was when he left. Steve more than half expected that. It was why he'd gotten up to help (or outright do himself) with the armor.

There is still a second there, where he is uncomfortable. Nothing like physical discomfort with sensation but how thorough and intensive it is. His expression never makes it all the way to the grimace, but some of his discomfort shows for a second or two.

"That's one way around a stupid ultimatum," he admits. He's not tentative in grabbing hold - in fact he intentionally tests the effect of whatever just happened. It does take him a second or two more to put together what he'd seen when he'd watched Zerxus removing them earlier (twisting) and getting them off himself.

Once he has, though, he just... sets them on the table and goes to work on the rest. There is absolutely going to be blood all over his hands. It's fine, but: "Was your brother older or younger than you?"
imperfectsoldier: (pic#17460816)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
No. Not just the gauntlets. Those were never the plan - not the biggest part, and certainly not all of it. His intention was never anything as simple - or complex - as literal disarming.

Not even of one blood soaked weapon-slash-armor.

He keeps going, but not in physically removing anything from Zerxus body, just undoing and unfastening clasps, staying well clear of any clear, single purpose weaponry. More about... mental shift, back to someone Steve can breathe around.

He starts to ask something. Then stops, tilts his head and waits.

He remembers this rhythm. "Your turn." He's pretty sure breaking that rhythm is likely to have some kind of consequence.
Edited 2024-10-29 23:18 (UTC)
imperfectsoldier: (80)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
That explains why the armor was so bloody, and the scent of it was so fresh. It also explains the distant tone in Zerxus' voice.

"Down," Steve says, immediately and firmly but gently, pushes the man back toward sitting in the nearest chair. "Work with me and sit down, please."

Can devils even die? Steve doesn't know, exactly, but he doesn't want to find out. He needs Zerxus to sit, he needs to get that leather out of the way and see where this is all coming from and at least try to do something about it.
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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-29 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
He can respect that level of stubbornness, but that doesn't mean he's not glad he doesn't have to drag Zerxus bodily around after he's passed out - or wait until Zerxus has in order to do anything.

Not that he knows what he's going to do here.

"Yeah, doesn't sound like a thing that should even be possible." Maybe? But if he'd sold his soul, and was already in hell... Some kind of punishment, also maybe, and if that's the case... it's Steve's fault.

Steve doesn't know.

He does know that he's tearing that thing open so he can see what he's working with and then just - "We better both be hoping you can't die and stay dead." This is bad. He's not being flippant, even with that remark. He's being grim, and also pulling his borrowed shirt off to try to do... anything here. Mop up, get a decent look and just pressure.

He still knows this is bad.
imperfectsoldier: (55)

[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-30 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
He moves for the drawer, without hesitation or stupid questions about infection. Not able to stay dead means if nothing else, worst case scenario, infection's going to at least be a slower death.

It also means he's going to be causing more pain either in the sewing up or slower death, but- So be it, he guesses.

"Let me know if you'd just rather... die." He doesn't know. He is firmly over his head in trying to put together how to approach this. Given that he is, actually, defaulting to trusting the authority on the subject here. "Or otherwise need to tap out."

Once he's got that sewing kit, though, he - Well, stands across Zerxus' legs and ultimately sits in his lap, facing him. It's the only practical way he has to reach.

He's not shaking. He's not pale. He's just grim, determined, and with some (hidden) anger underlining it. "I'll do my best, but best case it's still gonna hurt like a bitch."
Edited 2024-10-30 00:14 (UTC)
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[personal profile] imperfectsoldier 2024-10-30 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
Steve looks up from what he's doing, briefly. "Well, let me know if that comes back along with your ability to die." There's eye-contact with that, and he... probably shouldn't see burning red eyes as reassuring, but he... does.

Then he bends his head back to the task, starting with the lance wound. It's... just adding more blood to all this, making everything slippery and the whole thing harder. This man better still be able to heal in some capacity though, because there's more damage here than just on the surface.

"You still owe me a question." He doesn't look up, and his weight on Zerxus' legs doesn't shift. Just focused, but also: talk to him.

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